Boundaries
by Harry Petsanis and Donna McCance
We often refuse to set boundaries on what we will and will not tolerate from others, as well as ourselves. And because we don’t set those boundaries, people feel free and comfortable to not just invade our space, they try to control and own our space.
We often get upset or want to punish people for disrespecting us because we refuse to acknowledge that we disrespect ourselves by either not setting boundaries or setting them and not holding firm to them.
We are in control of our standards, our values, and what we will and will not tolerate. Quit expecting people to be respectful and quit expecting people to know what you will or will not accept or tolerate.
IT IS YOUR JOB
TO MAKE IT EXPLICITLY CLEAR
WHAT YOU WILL AND WILL NOT
ACCEPT OR TOLERATE.
When you say “no,” and someone tries to get you to change your mind, that is an indication that they are not respecting your boundaries. And when someone says “no” to you and you try to get them to change their mind, you are not respecting their boundaries.
Most people are weak and mask it as kindness. If you’re trying to get people to like you, at the detriment of your own emotional well-being, then you are the problem.
There’s a saying "you never get a second chance to make a first impression." If you first tell someone how you feel and you allow them to disrespect your feelings, the odds are astronomically high you made a poor first impression. You then spend the rest of the interaction like a dog chasing its tail.
Once you make it clear, and someone then breaches your space, look at it as if someone is breaking into your home. At that point, they have chosen to invade your space knowing there will be consequences, and those consequences are yours to impose.
About the Authors
Harry Petsanis is a philosopher of human nature, mindset specialist, and lifelong fitness and wellness advisor. He is a writer and author, with three published books: “The Truth is A Lie,” “The Logical Path to Life,” and "Knowing Me from A to Z, A Child's Mindset," which he co-authored with Donna McCance, M.Ed.. Harry has a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism. He has an intense passion for psychology and the human condition.
Donna McCance, M.Ed. is a business administrator, writer, author, licensed teacher and principal/vice principal with over 20 years experience teaching in elementary education and educational leadership. She has a Masters in Education, Masters in Human Services Management, Bachelors in Business Administration and Associates in Business Administration.
Click here to order Harry Petsanis’s books
The Truth is A Lie" and "The Logical Path To Life"
Go to amazon.com/dp/B09PMHXVFN
to order Harry Petsanis's and Donna McCance's newly published book
"Knowing Me From A to Z, A Child's Mindset"
To learn about Harry Petsanis, go to his website