By Harry Petsanis and Donna McCance
People SAY they want to be treated like an adult, but as soon as someone speaks to them in a way that is honest, direct, and succinct, they act like a baby. In other words, as soon as they hear something that they don’t want to hear, they revert into a baby mode that’s the core of who they are. That is because acknowledgement of the truth requires accountability and adult consequences, and people know this.
Emotional intelligence requires an individual to be able understand and regulate their emotions and use that understanding to communicate with themselves and others appropriately and effectively. Emotional intelligence guides your thinking and your actions.
Emotional intelligence requires self-awareness, which is being conscious of your strengths and weaknesses. The problem arises when most people do not want to acknowledge their weaknesses. They instantly defend themselves and try to manipulate others and themselves into thinking their weaknesses are strengths.
How you perceive yourself may be different from how others perceive you. When you refuse to be objective and listen to others, you will not develop emotional intelligence and you will continue to act like a baby every time someone tries to point out how you can improve.
How you react, respond, and relate to others will give you an indication of your level of emotional intelligence. If you don’t develop the ability to understand the reasons why you act and react the way you do, you will never grow. You will continue to act like a baby in every emotional situation.
Self-awareness leads to self-confidence, and the only way you can develop these is to break down your defensiveness. Many people are so protective of their weaknesses, they portray themselves with a false appearance of self-confidence, which is a lie. At the end of the day, all the insecurities that you have been trying to hide in front of others will come back to haunt you. Eventually it will catch up with you because people will see the truth, that you are not who you pretend to be, and so will you.
When you are self-confident, you are comfortable with knowing who you are and you are not afraid to look inward to identify your weaknesses and work toward growth.
An example of self-confidence is not becoming defensive and insulted every time someone points something out that they perceive in you. If you know yourself, you know they are either true or false, so you are already aware of what someone is telling you. You don’t react, you acknowledge.
When someone does give you their perception of you, rather than becoming defensive, you should pause and ask yourself “is this true?” Self-awareness helps you sort through what you are hearing, allowing you to respond appropriately.
If you truly want to grow up, you need to acknowledge there’s something in you that has to change. No matter what someone says or how long they’ve been dysfunctional, if someone truly wants to change, they would immediately attempt to try something different.
About the Authors
Harry Petsanis is a philosopher of human nature, mindset specialist, and lifelong fitness and wellness advisor. He is a writer and author, with three published books: “The Truth is A Lie,” “The Logical Path To Life,” and "Knowing Me from A to Z, A Child's Mindset," which he co-authored with Donna McCance, M.Ed.. Harry has a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism. He has an intense passion for psychology and the human condition.
Donna McCance, M.Ed. is a business administrator, writer, author, licensed teacher and principal/vice principal with over 20 years experience teaching in elementary education and educational leadership. She has a Masters in Education, Masters in Human Services Management, Bachelors in Business Administration and Associates in Business Administration.
Click here to order Harry Petsanis’s books
The Truth is A Lie" and "The Logical Path To Life"
Go to amazon.com/dp/B09PMHXVFN
to order Harry Petsanis's and Donna McCance's newly published book
"Knowing Me From A to Z, A Child's Mindset"
To learn about Harry Petsanis, go to his website