By Harry Petsanis and Donna McCance
The reason many relationships fail is because people view them as something far beyond the definition. “Relationship” is defined as “people having a connection.” Those connections are based on mutual benefits
People view relationships from an emotional perspective instead of a logical one. Most relationships are nothing more than a connection or a mutual commonality that benefits both parties. When you take away the connection, the commonality or the benefit, the relationship ends.
When feelings and emotions get involved, it can enhance a relationship when the relationship is in a great place when both parties have the same agenda.
Every relationship, no matter how well it is perceived to be going or how poorly it is perceived to be going, is nothing more than two or more parties connecting for self-serving purposes. When all parties have the same self-serving purposes, the relationship appears to be in a good place.
When all parties are not aligned with their self-serving agenda, you accurately see the state of the relationship. When things go bad, or agendas no longer align, that’s when people will say “Now I see the person for who they are or what it really was.” It never was about the person. It was about the connection or benefit. And when things are going well, don’t delude yourself into thinking that they’re going well for emotional reasons. It’s going well for mutually beneficial self-serving reasons.
When people say, "I see the person now for who they truly are," what they don’t realize is that they just acknowledged that they chose not to see the person for who they really were from the beginning because they were focused on the benefit, not the person.
We always look at people and things when they are at their best and assume that is who the person is going to be in every occurrence. The reality is that people and things can change on a dime. The reason they change on a dime is based on the benefit that is being provided, and people will make connections elsewhere that provide them greater benefits.
If someone wants to break off a connection with you because they feel it’s no longer benefiting them, then it’s their choice and their option to do so. If you want to break off a connection with someone else because you feel it is no longer benefiting you, then that’s your choice and your option to do so. This is pragmatic thinking that needs to be applied in order for you to thrive with a logical, reasonable, practical mindset.
If you are able to look at what relationship truly means, and realize when a connection has become disconnected, whether by you or another person, the fact is that nature has run its course and it’s time to move on to something else that benefits you.
About the Authors
Harry Petsanis is a philosopher of human nature, mindset specialist, and lifelong fitness and wellness advisor. He is a writer and author, with three published books: “The Truth is A Lie,” “The Logical Path To Life,” and "Knowing Me from A to Z, A Child's Mindset," which he co-authored with Donna McCance, M.Ed.. Harry has a Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism. He has an intense passion for psychology and the human condition.
Donna McCance, M.Ed. is a business administrator, writer, author, licensed teacher and principal/vice principal with over 20 years experience teaching in elementary education and educational leadership. She has a Masters in Education, Masters in Human Services Management, Bachelors in Business Administration and Associates in Business Administration.
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The Truth is A Lie" and "The Logical Path To Life"
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to order Harry Petsanis's and Donna McCance's newly published book
"Knowing Me From A to Z, A Child's Mindset"
To learn about Harry Petsanis, go to his website